apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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