Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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