don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
