If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
