Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
