Whod you bang
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
