you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
