I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Do you still have your period?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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