I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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