We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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