I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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