i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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