just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize