I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
