Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
