You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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