This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
