why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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