I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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