I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
...so i touched it.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
