She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
