Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize