You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
