That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
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Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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