I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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