I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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