1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
