You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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