this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
