i need an iv and a liver transplant
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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