i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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