Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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