if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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