I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
