my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
