Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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