i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
