after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
