is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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