who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Randomize
