After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Do vagina's smell?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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