he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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