It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
