it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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