Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize