Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
