Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize