Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
