All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
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