I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
