i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
