I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
