dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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