Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
