I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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