Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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