This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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