what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize