I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
